Bonjour à tous 🙂 J'ai un travail à faire en LELE anglaise avec une amie de ma classe,le sujet s'intitule très simplement : "Ecrivez les 2 premières pages d'un roman gothique". Je cherche donc des avis concernant ce que j'ai rédigé,merci à ceux/celles qui auront la motivation de lire puis répondre. 😉
The broken frame
Chapter I
I’m waiting. I have been waiting for 17 years. But I can’t imagine even one second a life without her,without her love,without her protection.
When i ask her to bring me with her when she leaves te house she reminds to me that I shall find only misfortune, vice and temptation there . I am 17 now, I am not a child anymore but she does not want and I have to respect her decision otherwise she will scold me, she hates when I do not listen to her…
Everyday it is the same. This morning I woke up in my little bed, I looked at my pink walls,my pink curtains, I stood up, my mum was standing right in front of me.
“Good morning sleepyhead, did you sleep well? Your breakfast is ready, hurry up sweety, today we have to clean the house!”
After my breakfast I helped her cleaning the house then we took our lunch and the dark came up, another day was over, time to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night it was raining, there was a sudden blast of wind, the windows rocked, and a shill cry took me away from my sleep. I went out of my room walked down the corridor. I was getting close to the root of this noise more and more. Suddenly I saw a shadow, seems to be the figure of my mother.
Her strange behavior made me think that she was on sleepwalker seizure. She was singing a nursery rhyme, the same she sung me when I was a child. She seemed to be crying. She saw me and totally changed her facial expression. She was unrecognizable, a mortified face, with dark rings, disheveled hair, pale complexion, for the first time my mother scared me. I ran away to my bed chamber and locked out the door! I was terrified, I sat on my bed and put my head on my knees and I cried! It was dark but the moonlight enabled me to see a little around me, a few minutes later my mom knocked at my door, I could hear her jerky breathe through the door as a dying animal, it was agonizing I did not want to open I stayed in my bed I could not stop crying, she kept knocking, in vain.
I decided to go out, I walked to the living room, enlighten by the moon, a window was open and the curtains were blowing there were no sounds around here my mom was not here, then, in my rush I put my foot on a broken frame, I bleed there was blood everywhere but still I sighted a portrait of a little child about 3 years old, was it me? I looked harder and I was unable to see similarities with me, I just did not know this little girl, who could she be? I was totally psychotic. Ithought I dreamt a tremendously vivid nightmare. I followed her unconscously,her voice reassured me. I heard an hoarse moaning, opened the door of my mother’s bedroom. She screamed at me « You’re not her »,she repeted « you’re not her,it’s not her blood sinkink from your foot,get out of my life » . At this moment I knew she was about to harm me. I taked the little broken frame and decied to fled.
I was crying. My tears merged at my blood. I ran away from her I hide myself under my desk but she came out, she had her wrists bleeding, her veins opened with blood flowing from her bloodstream, one knife in the left hand covered of fresh red blood, some drops fell on the floor, I escaped as fast as possible, opened the kitchen’s window and I ran into the woods near the house.
I realized a few minutes later that I was lost in the tree’s shadows, the moonlight could not enter through the branches they were too thick!
I sat on the wet leaves under the canopy I could not stop panicking! Then I heard weird noises I looked all around I just saw dark shadows like if creatures of night were spaying on me I was terrorized! All the beasts of the night were awake and ready to hunt, bats were flying around yelling and wolves were screaming upon the mountain’s pick, it was so cold that I felt like I lost my legs and my toes.
In that dark forest there were no warmth, no light, no happiness, no hope. I was all alone no one by my sides my mom was no longer my mom I was drowning in a huge grief, my heart was broken like if there was I hole that I could never fix. It was the worse night ever. I tried to wait the dawn to find my way out and sleep a little even if I knew that it will be absolutely impossible to sleep. For a while I wished I could be deaf not to hear the noises of the woods and I wished I could be blind not to see those shadows above my wet face and I wished I could neither fear the lightning anymore nor the furious winter’s rages.
The broken frame
Chapter I
I’m waiting. I have been waiting for 17 years. But I can’t imagine even one second a life without her,without her love,without her protection.
When i ask her to bring me with her when she leaves te house she reminds to me that I shall find only misfortune, vice and temptation there . I am 17 now, I am not a child anymore but she does not want and I have to respect her decision otherwise she will scold me, she hates when I do not listen to her…
Everyday it is the same. This morning I woke up in my little bed, I looked at my pink walls,my pink curtains, I stood up, my mum was standing right in front of me.
“Good morning sleepyhead, did you sleep well? Your breakfast is ready, hurry up sweety, today we have to clean the house!”
After my breakfast I helped her cleaning the house then we took our lunch and the dark came up, another day was over, time to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night it was raining, there was a sudden blast of wind, the windows rocked, and a shill cry took me away from my sleep. I went out of my room walked down the corridor. I was getting close to the root of this noise more and more. Suddenly I saw a shadow, seems to be the figure of my mother.
Her strange behavior made me think that she was on sleepwalker seizure. She was singing a nursery rhyme, the same she sung me when I was a child. She seemed to be crying. She saw me and totally changed her facial expression. She was unrecognizable, a mortified face, with dark rings, disheveled hair, pale complexion, for the first time my mother scared me. I ran away to my bed chamber and locked out the door! I was terrified, I sat on my bed and put my head on my knees and I cried! It was dark but the moonlight enabled me to see a little around me, a few minutes later my mom knocked at my door, I could hear her jerky breathe through the door as a dying animal, it was agonizing I did not want to open I stayed in my bed I could not stop crying, she kept knocking, in vain.
I decided to go out, I walked to the living room, enlighten by the moon, a window was open and the curtains were blowing there were no sounds around here my mom was not here, then, in my rush I put my foot on a broken frame, I bleed there was blood everywhere but still I sighted a portrait of a little child about 3 years old, was it me? I looked harder and I was unable to see similarities with me, I just did not know this little girl, who could she be? I was totally psychotic. Ithought I dreamt a tremendously vivid nightmare. I followed her unconscously,her voice reassured me. I heard an hoarse moaning, opened the door of my mother’s bedroom. She screamed at me « You’re not her »,she repeted « you’re not her,it’s not her blood sinkink from your foot,get out of my life » . At this moment I knew she was about to harm me. I taked the little broken frame and decied to fled.
I was crying. My tears merged at my blood. I ran away from her I hide myself under my desk but she came out, she had her wrists bleeding, her veins opened with blood flowing from her bloodstream, one knife in the left hand covered of fresh red blood, some drops fell on the floor, I escaped as fast as possible, opened the kitchen’s window and I ran into the woods near the house.
I realized a few minutes later that I was lost in the tree’s shadows, the moonlight could not enter through the branches they were too thick!
I sat on the wet leaves under the canopy I could not stop panicking! Then I heard weird noises I looked all around I just saw dark shadows like if creatures of night were spaying on me I was terrorized! All the beasts of the night were awake and ready to hunt, bats were flying around yelling and wolves were screaming upon the mountain’s pick, it was so cold that I felt like I lost my legs and my toes.
In that dark forest there were no warmth, no light, no happiness, no hope. I was all alone no one by my sides my mom was no longer my mom I was drowning in a huge grief, my heart was broken like if there was I hole that I could never fix. It was the worse night ever. I tried to wait the dawn to find my way out and sleep a little even if I knew that it will be absolutely impossible to sleep. For a while I wished I could be deaf not to hear the noises of the woods and I wished I could be blind not to see those shadows above my wet face and I wished I could neither fear the lightning anymore nor the furious winter’s rages.