Anglais - Correction de syntaxe et de grammaire

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Bonjour, voici une petite rédaction , y a t-il des erreurs de syntaxe ou de grammiare svp ?

The film refers to several themes of the program that is to say myth and heroes and power types and sites .
First of all, this film presents different presidents who are the heroes of the story of the United States ( Lyndon Johnson and Kennedy for instance who want to change the situation of black people by according them their civil rights) . The film also tells a mythical period , that is to say the governance of Kennedy ( 1961-1963 ) . Then, a part of the plot plays at the White House ( through the character of Cecil ), which is an emblematic place of power in the United States.
Then, the movie presents the defender of civil rights as Ghandi who had struggling for the independence in India and Martin Luther King who had struggling for the end of Segregation in the USA . The fight of Ghandi are mentionned in the movie. The film tells a form of power in the united states that is to say, racial segregation ( Black People were indeed Considered to be chattel , with no rights) , slavery which is present at the beginnig of the early in the movie , the Ku Ku Klux Klan ( louis and a douzen others are attacked in Alabama while they traveling the staye with the freedom bus. Finally , the character of Louis belongs to these two themes.
Indeed, Louis, the son of Cecil, can be considered a hero because he performed feat heroics ( he sits in chairs which there are reserved for whites ) . He puts his life in danger when he went in the South. He wants to fight for blacks get in order to they obtain their full civil rights . He cans be considered as an human acitivits rights . He embodies the civil disobedience and the resistance , because it belongs to the activist movement called the black panthers . He wants to show that the law is unfair .
mel-sol34 a écrit :Bonjour, voici une petite rédaction , y a t-il des erreurs de syntaxe ou de grammiare svp ?

The film refers to several themes of the program that is to say myth and heroes and power types and sites .
First of all, this film presents different presidents who are the heroes of the story of the United States ( Lyndon Johnson and Kennedy for instance who want to change the situation of black people by according them their civil rights) . The film also tells a mythical period , that is to say the governance of Kennedy ( 1961-1963 ) . Then, a part of the plot plays at the White House ( through the character of Cecil ), which is an emblematic place of power in the United States.
Then, the movie presents the defender of civil rights as Ghandi who had struggling for the independence in India and Martin Luther King who had struggling for the end of Segregation in the USA . The fight of Ghandi are mentionned in the movie. The film tells a form of power in the united states that is to say, racial segregation ( Black People were indeed Considered to be chattel , with no rights) , slavery which is present at the beginnig of the early in the movie , the Ku Ku Klux Klan ( louis and a douzen others are attacked in Alabama while they traveling the staye with the freedom bus. Finally , the character of Louis belongs to these two themes.
Indeed, Louis, the son of Cecil, can be considered a hero because he performed feat heroics ( he sits in chairs which there are reserved for whites ) . He puts his life in danger when he went in the South. He wants to fight for blacks get in order to they obtain their full civil rights . He cans be considered as an human acitivits rights . He embodies the civil disobedience and the resistance , because it belongs to the activist movement called the black panthers . He wants to show that the law is unfair .
A la volée, j'en ai sûrement oublié d'autres. Il faudrait par ailleurs éviter les tournures trop souvent récurrentes comme '' that is to say '' , ou '' then ''.
petite correction , est ce correct 😀

The film refers to several themes of the program that is to say myth and heroes and power types and sites .
First of all, this movie presents different presidents who are the heroes of the story of the Uni-ted States ( Lyndon Johnson and Kennedy for instance who want to change the situation of black people by according them their civil rights) . The film shows also a mythical period , that is to say the governance of Kennedy ( 1961-1963 ) . Then, a part of the plot plays at the White House ( through the character of Cecil ), which is an emblematic place of power in the United States.
Then, the movie presents the defender of civil rights as Ghandi who struggled for the independence in India and Martin Luther King who struggled for the end of Segrega-tion in the USA . The fight of Ghandi are mentionned in the movie. The film tells a form of power in the united states that is to say, racial segregation ( Black People were indeed Consi-dered to be chattel , with no rights) , slavery which is present at the beginnig of the movie , the Ku Klux Klan ( louis and a douzen others are attacked in Alabama while traveling on a bus in Alabama).
Finally, Louis, the son of Cecil, can be considered as an hero because he performed feat heroics ( he sits in chairs which are reserved for whites) . He puts his life in danger when he went in the South. He wants to fight for blacks in order to they obtain their full civil rights . He cans be considered as an human acitivits rights . He embodies the civil disobe-dience and the resistance , because he belongs to the activist movement called the black panthers . He wants to show that the law is unfair .
Je pense que c'est plutôt ''He can'' and ''activist''
camillemano a écrit :Je pense que c'est plutôt ''He can'' and ''activist''
Le reste est correct Sinon ?
Je pense mais c'est vrai que tu dis deux fois ''that is to say'' donc tu pourrais peut-être trouver autre chose.. Comme ''the film shows also a mythical period, INDEED, it talks about the governance of…''.
Et le ''then'' du début du troisième paragraphe pourrait être remplacé par ''moreover'' ou ''futhermore'' vu que tu viens de l'utiliser dans la phrase d'avant.
Et aussi remplacer le deuxième ''struggled'' par ''fought''. Je sais pas si ça a la même traduction mais comme ça, ça varie. ''marthin Luther King fought for the end of segregation''.
Et c'est pas KLu Klux klan?
Après je sais pas s'il reste d'autres choses…
Merci 😀 je l'ai refaite mais je vais rajouter les connecteurs logiques pour ne pas me répéter
Hello,
We NEVER say "he cans". Can is a modal verb and it doesn't take an" s" with he/she/it.
Avoid "activist movement" and instead use revolutionary socialist organization (the definition found in the Wikipedia)
Pay attention to the punctuation: "myth and heroes and power types and sites" While listing you have to put a comma instead of and that means : " "myth, heroes, power types, and sites"
Story of the United States = History of the united states
You're writing a paragraph so make it one block.
You need to vary the linkings you use.

Good luck 🙂
Ok thank you 🙂 , but my homework is good ?
Try to work on your weaknesses and everything gonna be alright 🙂
PS: we say represent and not present 🙂