1

Anglais - Expression écrite

HELLO!!

J'ai une expression écrite d'anglais à faire dont voici le sujet:

Adapting to a new life is not always easy.
Would you be prepared to go and live in a foreign country?

Pourriez-vous me dire si je répond bien au sujet
et
m'aider en me donnant des conseils sur ce qui ne convient pas tel que des fautes d'orthographe?!


There is no denying that it is not to be always easy to live in another country, because it is like a new start; a new life where we have to begin again everything.
Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave her family and her friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
It is in a sense a break of live usual.
Moreover, we can feel the homesickness; our adaptation can be difficult because he can have problems of understanding there because it is not the same spoken language.
Then, it is not the same culture; let us take the example of the « KYKUYU » which contrary to a big continent, do not know their date of birth because for them it is not important; Only the circumcision and the climatic chances are it.
But also let us take for example KWAN who is surprised by a large number of things which seem harmless for the young Americans, but which are for her unusual, such as the sprinkler system .
Nevertheless, to leave living abroad has to be a fantastic experience; an extraordinary adventure; because she allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; Make some of our customs known; and learn it.
To go and live in a foreigner country testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like particularly English, and because I find that it is the very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels. It makes everything to be always the best. I have the " American dream " today.

Je vous remercie d'avance

Cordialement LIZIE

Bonjour,
? Rédigez soigneusement le titre de votre message, il doit informer clairement sur son contenu. Évitez absolument les titres non descriptifs comme « À l’aide ! », « Urgent ! », « Important ! », « Question ! », « Renseignement », etc.

Anglais - Expression écrite

marianne a écrit :

HELLO!!

J'ai une expression écrite d'anglais à faire dont voici le sujet:

Adapting to a new life is not always easy.
Would you be prepared to go and live in a foreign country?

Pourriez-vous me dire si je répond bien au sujet
et
m'aider en me donnant des conseils sur ce qui ne convient pas tel que des fautes d'orthographe?!


There is no denying that it is not to be always easy to live in another country, because it is like a new start; a new life where we have to begin again everything.
Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave her family and her friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
It is in a sense a break of live usual.
Moreover, we can feel the homesickness; our adaptation can be difficult because there can be problems of understanding (there?) because it is not the same language which is spoken.
Then, it is not the same culture; let us take the example of the « KYKUYU » which contrary to a big continent, do not know their date of birth because for them it is not important; Only the circumcision and the climatic chances are it.
But also let us take for example KWAN who is surprised by a large number of things which seem harmless for the young Americans, but which are for her unusual, such as the sprinkler system.
Nevertheless, to leave living abroad has to be a fantastic experience; an extraordinary adventure; because she allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; make some of our customs known; and learn it.
To go and live in a foreign country ( pouquoi foreigner et pas foreign comme dans le sujet ? ) testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like English particularly, and because I find that it is the very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels. It makes everything to be always the best. I have the " American dream " today.

Je vous remercie d'avance

Cordialement LIZIE

Voilà je changerais ça, ceci dit ce n' est pas forcément bon et ce ne sont que des conseils, tchô !

Anglais - Expression écrite

marianne a écrit :

Adapting to a new life is not always easy.
Would you be prepared to go and live in a foreign country?

There is no denying that it *is not             always easy to live in another country, because it *is like a new start**; a new life where we have to begin *****again everything.
Furthermore, that implies                 having to leave ***her family and her friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
It is in a sense a break of ****live *****usual.
Moreover, we *can feel the homesickness; our adaptation *can be difficult because ***he *can have problems of understanding *****there because it is not the same spoken language.
²Then, ²²it is not the same culture; let us take the example of the « KYKUYU » which contrary to a ²²²big continent, do not know their date of birth because for them it is not important; **Only the circumcision and the climatic chances are ²²it.
But also let us take for example ²²²²KWAN who is surprised by a large number of things which seem harmless for the young Americans, but which are for her unusual, such as the sprinkler system .
Nevertheless, to ²²²²²leave living abroad has to be a fantastic experience**; an extraordinary adventure; because °she allows °°to make new knowledge; to exchange**; for example, to exchange recipes**; Make some of our customs known**; and learn it.
To go and live in a foreign        country testifies +of a big open-minded ++ and thus +++to open on the world.
As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like particularly °°°English, and because I find that it is the very hard-working country which does not °°°°sleep on its laurels. °°°°°It makes everything to be always the best. I have the " American dream " today.

* or the conditional
**Each of the two parts separated by a semi-colon should be complete sentences in themselves. If the second par is meant to illustrate the first, it would be better to use a colon. A semi-colon is followed by a small case letter, not a capital letter.
***on => ses en français; one => one's in English.
****A noun rather than a verb here, I think;
*****Word order.
²"Puis"? try "There again". Then for me indicates a space of time.
²²"It is not" has no sense if we do not already know to what "it" refers.
²²²Isn't Africa "big" too?
²²²²I understood KIKUYU = a tribe of Kikuyu = plural. Is KWAN also a plural? If so, then the verb should agree. Is KWAN is a girl then this paragraphe is OK.
²²²²² "leave"?
+Another preposition follows testifies
++There's a noun missing here.
+++"to open" depends still on the verb "testifies".....
°"she"? Who?
°°A gerund rather than an infinitive, I should say.
°°°English language? People? Countryside? Roads?.....
°°°°rest on its laurels is idiomatic.
°°°°°Sorry,but this phrase is completely incoherent.

I hope this helps.
Bon courage!

Anglais - Expression écrite

So pretty, all the little stars ***************** 

5

Anglais - Expression écrite

J'ai tenu compte de vos commentaires.
Pouvez-vous me dire si ceci convient?
Merci d'avance.


There is no denying that it was not always easy to live in another country, because it was like a new start.
A new life where we have to begin everything again.

Furthermore, that implies having to leave one’s her family and her friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.

Moreover, we could feel the homesickness; our adaptation could be difficult because one’s she could have problems of understanding because it is not the same spoken language.

Futhermore, they are not the same culture; let us take the example of the « KYKUYU » which contrary to Africa, do not know their date of birth because for them it is not important.
Only the circumcision and the climatic chances are KYKUYU.
But also let us take for example the girl KWAN who is surprised by a large number of things which seem harmless for the young Americans, but which are for her unusual, such as the sprinkler system.
Nevertheless, to go and live abroad has to be a fantastic experience.
Moreover, an extraordinary adventure; because it allows is making new knowledge; to exchange.
For example, to exchange recipes.
Make some of our customs known.
And learn it.
To go and live in a foreign country testifies a big opening of mind
and therefore to open with the world.
As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States;  because it makes everything to be always the best.
I have the " American dream " today.

Anglais - Expression écrite

I think your teacher should mark your homework, now, don't you?

7

Anglais - Expression écrite

Yes of course but can you help me just a last time please:


There is no denying that  it is not always easy  adapting to a new life when we are prepare to go and live in a foreign country.
Indeed it is like a new start; a new life where we have start anew everything.
Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave our family and our friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
It is a change in our everyday life.
Moreover, we could get homesick.
Adapting could prove difficult because we can have problems of understanding  because it is not the same spoken language.
And, it is not the same culture; the  KYKUYU  tribe let's considere do not know their date of birth because what are more important in them society are the circumcision ceremonies as an example.
Besides,  KWAN asked so many dumb questions that are stupide for American kids as an example.
Furthermore, KWAN doesn’t know what it’s the sprinkler system .

Nevertheless, to go and live in a foreign country is a fantastic experience and an extraordinary adventure because it allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; Make some of our customs known; and learn it.
To go and live in a foreigner country testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like english particularly, and because I find that it is  very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels.
It makes everything to be always the best.
Moreover, later, I would like to be an internationale commercial and America it’s the perfect somewhere I can make this job.
I am dreamer of All America; for famous characters like Maryln Monroe; history, monuments; But it’s ok that is there are drawbacks like weapons… but  it’s like all the others continents; there are inconvenients. 
So, I have the " American dream " today.
I am open-minded and I like leaving to the discovery of new horizons for not to be ethnocentrist because I have realize by my experience that ethnocentrism is a mistake.

Anglais - Expression écrite

marianne a écrit :

Yes of course but can you help me just a last time please:


There is no denying that  it is not always easy  adapting to a new life when we are prepare to go and live in a foreign country.
Indeed it is like a new start; a new life where we have start anew everything.*
Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave our family and our friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
It is a change in our everyday life.
Moreover, we could get homesick.
Adapting could prove difficult because we can have problems of understanding  because it is not the same spoken language.
And, it is not the same culture; the  KYKUYU  tribe let's considere do not know their date of birth because what are more important in them society are the circumcision ceremonies as an example.
Besides,  KWAN asked so many dumb questions that are stupide for American kids as an example.
Furthermore, KWAN doesn’t know what it’s the sprinkler system .

Nevertheless, to go and live in a foreign country is a fantastic experience and an extraordinary adventure because it allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; Make some of our customs known; and learn it.
To go and live in a foreigner country testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like english particularly, and because I find that it is  very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels.
It makes everything to be always the best.
Moreover, later, I would like to be an internationale commercial and America it’s the perfect somewhere I can make this job.
I am dreamer of All America; for famous characters like Maryln Monroe; history, monuments; But it’s ok that is there are drawbacks like weapons… but  it’s like all the others continents; there are inconvenients. 
So, I have the " American dream " today.
I am open-minded and I like leaving to the discovery of new horizons for not to be ethnocentrist because I have realize by my experience that ethnocentrism is a mistake.

* 3 times 'new' in this phrase is an awful lot...
You don't seem to have picked up my comments about semicolons and colons and making lists.
I'm not sure that Adverbs of manner at the beginning of Sentences should be followed by commas.

9

Anglais - Expression écrite

Je vous remercie de votre aide.

j'essaye de corriger mes erreures cependant; je ne comprend pas pourquoi vous dite que "the fact of" est faux puisque dans mon dictionnaire "le fait de" est traduit par ceci.

De plus, j'aurais voulu savoir si vous pouviez me donner quelques tournures pour annoncer un exemple?

Et puis "exchange" je ne comprend pas pourquoi ceci est faux puisque dans le dictionnaire "échanger des connaissances" est traduit pas "exchange".

"Ethnocentrism" est exacte dans mon dico.

Pourriez-vous m'expliquer s'il vous plait pourquoi d'apres vous ceci est faux?

Pour le reste il en a un grand nombre que je n'arrive pas à corriger; mais ce que j'ai pu corriger:

when we are prepared

Because we may have problems of understandingQuand à ce qui est des points virgules ma professeur nous à dit qu'il ne fallait pas en mettre; mais qu'il ne fallait pas non plus mettre deux points car ce n'est pas habituel chez les anglais

10

Anglais - Expression écrite

marianne a écrit :

1.j'essaye de corriger mes erreurs cependant; je ne comprend pas pourquoi vous dite que "the fact of" est faux puisque dans mon dictionnaire "le fait de" est traduit par ceci.
2.De plus, j'aurais voulu savoir si vous pouviez me donner quelques tournures pour annoncer un exemple?
3. Et puis "exchange" je ne comprend pas pourquoi ceci est faux puisque dans le dictionnaire "échanger des connaissances" est traduit pas "exchange".
4. "Ethnocentrism" est exacte dans mon dico.
5. Quand* à ce qui est des points virgules ma professeur nous à dit qu'il ne fallait pas en mettre; mais qu'il ne fallait pas non plus mettre deux points car ce n'est pas habituel chez les anglais

1. Leave it out!
2. To illustrate this point....In order to see more clearly.....We might consider....If we take X as an example........X is a case in point........If we look at X.......
3. To make exchanges or to exchange cultural ideas.
4. I'm so very sorry to say that you are quite right!!! I had no idea that this word was in my collins dictionary also. However, its meaning of ethnic superiority may make it a politically incorrect word to use, although gramatically right! Sorry again for my mistake.
5. Quand ou quant?
This Englishman loves to use all the richness of puctuation possible: a correct use of commas; a liste which is separated by semicolons; colons when they are appropriate. Of course I shouldn't contradict your teacher's wishes: I might be accused of interference. (Also correct - Of course I shouldn't contradict your teacher's wishes; I might be accused of interference.) The first version uses a colon to show the illustration of my first prase by the second. The second version links two sentences which have a common element.

I hope this helps.