HELLO!!

J'ai une expression écrite d'anglais à faire dont voici le sujet:

Adapting to a new life is not always easy.
Would you be prepared to go and live in a foreign country?

Pourriez-vous me dire si je répond bien au sujet
et
m'aider en me donnant des conseils sur ce qui ne convient pas tel que des fautes d'orthographe?!


There is no denying that it is not to be always easy to live in another country, because it is like a new start; a new life where we have to begin again everything.
Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave her family and her friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
It is in a sense a break of live usual.
Moreover, we can feel the homesickness; our adaptation can be difficult because he can have problems of understanding there because it is not the same spoken language.
Then, it is not the same culture; let us take the example of the « KYKUYU » which contrary to a big continent, do not know their date of birth because for them it is not important; Only the circumcision and the climatic chances are it.
But also let us take for example KWAN who is surprised by a large number of things which seem harmless for the young Americans, but which are for her unusual, such as the sprinkler system .
Nevertheless, to leave living abroad has to be a fantastic experience; an extraordinary adventure; because she allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; Make some of our customs known; and learn it.
To go and live in a foreigner country testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like particularly English, and because I find that it is the very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels. It makes everything to be always the best. I have the " American dream " today.

Je vous remercie d'avance

Cordialement LIZIE


Bonjour,
? Rédigez soigneusement le titre de votre message, il doit informer clairement sur son contenu. Évitez absolument les titres non descriptifs comme « À l’aide ! », « Urgent ! », « Important ! », « Question ! », « Renseignement », etc.

Réponses

  • marianne a écrit:
    HELLO!!

    J'ai une expression écrite d'anglais à faire dont voici le sujet:

    Adapting to a new life is not always easy.
    Would you be prepared to go and live in a foreign country?

    Pourriez-vous me dire si je répond bien au sujet
    et
    m'aider en me donnant des conseils sur ce qui ne convient pas tel que des fautes d'orthographe?!


    There is no denying that it is not to be always easy to live in another country, because it is like a new start; a new life where we have to begin again everything.
    Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave her family and her friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
    It is in a sense a break of live usual.
    Moreover, we can feel the homesickness; our adaptation can be difficult because there can be problems of understanding (there?) because it is not the same language which is spoken.
    Then, it is not the same culture; let us take the example of the « KYKUYU » which contrary to a big continent, do not know their date of birth because for them it is not important; Only the circumcision and the climatic chances are it.
    But also let us take for example KWAN who is surprised by a large number of things which seem harmless for the young Americans, but which are for her unusual, such as the sprinkler system.
    Nevertheless, to leave living abroad has to be a fantastic experience; an extraordinary adventure; because she allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; make some of our customs known; and learn it.
    To go and live in a foreign country ( pouquoi foreigner et pas foreign comme dans le sujet ? :() testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
    As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like English particularly, and because I find that it is the very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels. It makes everything to be always the best. I have the " American dream " today.

    Je vous remercie d'avance

    Cordialement LIZIE
    Voilà je changerais ça, ceci dit ce n' est pas forcément bon et ce ne sont que des conseils, tchô !
  • marianne a écrit:
    Adapting to a new life is not always easy.
    Would you be prepared to go and live in a foreign country?

    There is no denying that it *is not always easy to live in another country, because it *is like a new start**; a new life where we have to begin *****again everything.
    Furthermore, that implies having to leave ***her family and her friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
    It is in a sense a break of ****live *****usual.
    Moreover, we *can feel the homesickness; our adaptation *can be difficult because ***he *can have problems of understanding *****there because it is not the same spoken language.
    ²Then, ²²it is not the same culture; let us take the example of the « KYKUYU » which contrary to a ²²²big continent, do not know their date of birth because for them it is not important; **Only the circumcision and the climatic chances are ²²it.
    But also let us take for example ²²²²KWAN who is surprised by a large number of things which seem harmless for the young Americans, but which are for her unusual, such as the sprinkler system .
    Nevertheless, to ²²²²²leave living abroad has to be a fantastic experience**; an extraordinary adventure; because °she allows °°to make new knowledge; to exchange**; for example, to exchange recipes**; Make some of our customs known**; and learn it.
    To go and live in a foreign country testifies +of a big open-minded ++ and thus +++to open on the world.
    As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like particularly °°°English, and because I find that it is the very hard-working country which does not °°°°sleep on its laurels. °°°°°It makes everything to be always the best. I have the " American dream " today.
    * or the conditional
    **Each of the two parts separated by a semi-colon should be complete sentences in themselves. If the second par is meant to illustrate the first, it would be better to use a colon. A semi-colon is followed by a small case letter, not a capital letter.
    ***on => ses en français; one => one's in English.
    ****A noun rather than a verb here, I think;
    *****Word order.
    ²"Puis"? try "There again". Then for me indicates a space of time.
    ²²"It is not" has no sense if we do not already know to what "it" refers.
    ²²²Isn't Africa "big" too?
    ²²²²I understood KIKUYU = a tribe of Kikuyu = plural. Is KWAN also a plural? If so, then the verb should agree. Is KWAN is a girl then this paragraphe is OK.
    ²²²²² "leave"?
    +Another preposition follows testifies
    ++There's a noun missing here.
    +++"to open" depends still on the verb "testifies".....
    °"she"? Who?
    °°A gerund rather than an infinitive, I should say.
    °°°English language? People? Countryside? Roads?.....
    °°°°rest on its laurels is idiomatic.
    °°°°°Sorry,but this phrase is completely incoherent.

    I hope this helps.
    Bon courage!
  • So pretty, all the little stars ***************** :)
  • J'ai tenu compte de vos commentaires.
    Pouvez-vous me dire si ceci convient?
    Merci d'avance.


    There is no denying that it was not always easy to live in another country, because it was like a new start.
    A new life where we have to begin everything again.

    Furthermore, that implies having to leave one’s her family and her friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.

    Moreover, we could feel the homesickness; our adaptation could be difficult because one’s she could have problems of understanding because it is not the same spoken language.

    Futhermore, they are not the same culture; let us take the example of the « KYKUYU » which contrary to Africa, do not know their date of birth because for them it is not important.
    Only the circumcision and the climatic chances are KYKUYU.
    But also let us take for example the girl KWAN who is surprised by a large number of things which seem harmless for the young Americans, but which are for her unusual, such as the sprinkler system.
    Nevertheless, to go and live abroad has to be a fantastic experience.
    Moreover, an extraordinary adventure; because it allows is making new knowledge; to exchange.
    For example, to exchange recipes.
    Make some of our customs known.
    And learn it.
    To go and live in a foreign country testifies a big opening of mind
    and therefore to open with the world.
    As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because it makes everything to be always the best.
    I have the " American dream " today.
  • I think your teacher should mark your homework, now, don't you? :)
  • Yes of course but can you help me just a last time please:


    There is no denying that it is not always easy adapting to a new life when we are prepare to go and live in a foreign country.
    Indeed it is like a new start; a new life where we have start anew everything.
    Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave our family and our friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
    It is a change in our everyday life.
    Moreover, we could get homesick.
    Adapting could prove difficult because we can have problems of understanding because it is not the same spoken language.
    And, it is not the same culture; the KYKUYU tribe let's considere do not know their date of birth because what are more important in them society are the circumcision ceremonies as an example.
    Besides, KWAN asked so many dumb questions that are stupide for American kids as an example.
    Furthermore, KWAN doesn’t know what it’s the sprinkler system .

    Nevertheless, to go and live in a foreign country is a fantastic experience and an extraordinary adventure because it allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; Make some of our customs known; and learn it.
    To go and live in a foreigner country testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
    As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like english particularly, and because I find that it is very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels.
    It makes everything to be always the best.
    Moreover, later, I would like to be an internationale commercial and America it’s the perfect somewhere I can make this job.
    I am dreamer of All America; for famous characters like Maryln Monroe; history, monuments; But it’s ok that is there are drawbacks like weapons… but it’s like all the others continents; there are inconvenients.
    So, I have the " American dream " today.
    I am open-minded and I like leaving to the discovery of new horizons for not to be ethnocentrist because I have realize by my experience that ethnocentrism is a mistake.
  • marianne a écrit:
    Yes of course but can you help me just a last time please:


    There is no denying that it is not always easy adapting to a new life when we are prepare to go and live in a foreign country.
    Indeed it is like a new start; a new life where we have start anew everything.*
    Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave our family and our friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
    It is a change in our everyday life.
    Moreover, we could get homesick.
    Adapting could prove difficult because we can have problems of understanding because it is not the same spoken language.
    And, it is not the same culture; the KYKUYU tribe let's considere do not know their date of birth because what are more important in them society are the circumcision ceremonies as an example.
    Besides, KWAN asked so many dumb questions that are stupide for American kids as an example.
    Furthermore, KWAN doesn’t know what it’s the sprinkler system .

    Nevertheless, to go and live in a foreign country is a fantastic experience and an extraordinary adventure because it allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; Make some of our customs known; and learn it.
    To go and live in a foreigner country testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
    As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like english particularly, and because I find that it is very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels.
    It makes everything to be always the best.
    Moreover, later, I would like to be an internationale commercial and America it’s the perfect somewhere I can make this job.
    I am dreamer of All America; for famous characters like Maryln Monroe; history, monuments; But it’s ok that is there are drawbacks like weapons… but it’s like all the others continents; there are inconvenients.
    So, I have the " American dream " today.
    I am open-minded and I like leaving to the discovery of new horizons for not to be ethnocentrist because I have realize by my experience that ethnocentrism is a mistake.
    * 3 times 'new' in this phrase is an awful lot...
    You don't seem to have picked up my comments about semicolons and colons and making lists.
    I'm not sure that Adverbs of manner at the beginning of Sentences should be followed by commas.
  • Je vous remercie de votre aide.

    j'essaye de corriger mes erreures cependant; je ne comprend pas pourquoi vous dite que "the fact of" est faux puisque dans mon dictionnaire "le fait de" est traduit par ceci.

    De plus, j'aurais voulu savoir si vous pouviez me donner quelques tournures pour annoncer un exemple?

    Et puis "exchange" je ne comprend pas pourquoi ceci est faux puisque dans le dictionnaire "échanger des connaissances" est traduit pas "exchange".

    "Ethnocentrism" est exacte dans mon dico.

    Pourriez-vous m'expliquer s'il vous plait pourquoi d'apres vous ceci est faux?

    Pour le reste il en a un grand nombre que je n'arrive pas à corriger; mais ce que j'ai pu corriger:

    when we are prepared

    Because we may have problems of understanding Quand à ce qui est des points virgules ma professeur nous à dit qu'il ne fallait pas en mettre; mais qu'il ne fallait pas non plus mettre deux points car ce n'est pas habituel chez les anglais
  • marianne a écrit:
    1.j'essaye de corriger mes erreurs cependant; je ne comprend pas pourquoi vous dite que "the fact of" est faux puisque dans mon dictionnaire "le fait de" est traduit par ceci.
    2.De plus, j'aurais voulu savoir si vous pouviez me donner quelques tournures pour annoncer un exemple?
    3. Et puis "exchange" je ne comprend pas pourquoi ceci est faux puisque dans le dictionnaire "échanger des connaissances" est traduit pas "exchange".
    4. "Ethnocentrism" est exacte dans mon dico.
    5. Quand* à ce qui est des points virgules ma professeur nous à dit qu'il ne fallait pas en mettre; mais qu'il ne fallait pas non plus mettre deux points car ce n'est pas habituel chez les anglais
    1. Leave it out!
    2. To illustrate this point....In order to see more clearly.....We might consider....If we take X as an example........X is a case in point........If we look at X.......
    3. To make exchanges or to exchange cultural ideas.
    4. I'm so very sorry to say that you are quite right!!! I had no idea that this word was in my collins dictionary also. However, its meaning of ethnic superiority may make it a politically incorrect word to use, although gramatically right! Sorry again for my mistake.
    5. Quand ou quant?
    This Englishman loves to use all the richness of puctuation possible: a correct use of commas; a liste which is separated by semicolons; colons when they are appropriate. Of course I shouldn't contradict your teacher's wishes: I might be accused of interference. (Also correct - Of course I shouldn't contradict your teacher's wishes; I might be accused of interference.) The first version uses a colon to show the illustration of my first prase by the second. The second version links two sentences which have a common element.

    I hope this helps.
  • Yes thank you very much.

    Cependant depuis tout à l'heure j'ai beau essayer de corriger mes erreures; je n'arrive pas à corriger celles que vous m'avez souligné: pourriez- vous m'aider please!!!

    je n'ai reussi à corriger que celles-ci: sont-elles bien?

    when we are prepared

    Because we may have problems of understanding

    Merci
  • Bonjour,

    J'ai ENCORE tout refait ( grâce à votre aide); pourriez-vous me dire si ceci convient, et si je répond bien à mon sujet?!!
    Merci d'avance

    sujet:
    Adapting to a new life is not always easy.
    Would you be prepared to go and live in a foreign country?

    There is no denying that it is not always easy adapting to a new life when we are prepared to go and live in a foreign country.
    Indeed it is like a new start.
    Furthermore, it implies having to leave our family and friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
    Moreover, we could get homesick.
    Adapting could prove difficult because we may have problems of understanding because it is not the same language which is spoken.
    And, it is not the same culture.
    Besides, In order to see more clearly KWAN who has just arrived in the USA, asked so many dumb questions that are stunned for American kids.
    Furthermore, KWAN doesn’t know what it is the sprinkler system .
    Nevertheless, to go and live in a foreign country is a fantastic experience and an extraordinary adventure because it allows to do new knowledge; to exchange cultural ideas.
    For example, to exchange recipes.
    The intention to go and live in a foreign country may signify an open-mindness and a wish to discover the world.
    However, some people migrate not to enlarge there horizons but simply because they are political refugees.
    As for me, I want to go and live abroad because I like to discover new horizons; to meet new people and to get to know about different cultures.
    I want in a sense to open my mind to the rest of the world because I have realized that ethnocentrism was a mistake.
    Indeed, no culture is better than another they are simply different.
    However, my family will miss me, yet you always need to sacrifice something to move forward.
    That is why I would like to go to the United States to improve my English.
    But also because this country does everything to be the best and to stay the best.
    Furthermore, going abroad gives more opportunities to get a job.
    And the United States are for me a dream; it is the American dream.
    Nevertheless, I conceive that it have drawbacks such as weapons, as in all other countries.
    It is necessary to consider pros and cons.
  • This is much better.

    I think that the last phrase should be near the beginning.
    I think that your last phrase should be a YES or a NO, having weighed up the pros and cons that you detail in the text.

    Good luck.
  • Bonsoir,

    Bon texte dans son contenu, mais si je peux me permettre, certaines expressions devraient être revues car elles semblent être directement traduites du français, ce qui pourrait sonner faux en anglais.

    Je l'ai retravaillé dans son ensemble, non seulement dans sa structure et au niveau des expressions/vocabulaire employés, mais grammatiquement ainsi qu'orthographiquement.
    Merci de répondre à la requête en gras ci-dessous.
    You should keep in mind that you can't easily adapt yourself to a new life, especially when it comes to live in a foreign country, even having been quite well prepared previously.

    Moreover, you have to take into consideration the fact that you will leave your best friends and family, and certainly the place where you spent your childhood and youthl.

    You have to get prepared to face the homesickness, because not only you would encounter some difficulties to get adapted to a new life, but the language barrier might cause some issues in terms of communication and culture.

    Pour l'histoire de Kwan, pourrais tu stp préciser de qui s'agit-il? et quelle est ton intention de l'introduire dans le passage stp? cela m'aiderait à établir ce que tu as l'intention de dire

    Nevertheless, living in a foreign country is a fantastic experience and an extraordinary adventure because you learn so much, not only culturally but meeting local people who are totally different from what you have been used to see, and establishing new friendships with them might be something quite unique in your life.

    In my judgement, the intention to go and live in a foreign country means an open-mindness and a willingness to discover the world.

    However, some people migrate not to enlarge there horizons but simply because they are political refugees.

    As for me, I want to go and live abroad because I like discovering new horizons; meeting new people and getting to know about different cultures.

    I want in a sense to open my mind to the rest of the world because I have realized that ethnocentrism was a mistake.

    Indeed, no culture is better than another, they are simply different.

    However, I will miss my family, yet, unfortunately, you still need to make sacrifices to move forward.

    That is why I'm so enjoyed to go to the United States, not only to improve my english, but also because this country does everything to be the best and to remain the best.

    The professional opportunities out there are really interesting, especially in terms of acquiring a job of my liking and abilities.

    Heh and who could claim that the "American Dream" disappeared? it has always been my dream, and I'm so happy to realize it.

    By the way, like any other country, the US of A has its advantages and disadvantages, such as weapons, which represent a significant desease for such a powerful nation.
    ;)

    Cordialement
  • Tout d'abord merci pour ton aide.

    En faite, je dois rédiger une expression écrite par rapoort à un texte ( c'est un sujet type bac) et KWAN est une jeune chinoise qui arrive aux etats-unis et qui découvre de nouvelles choses....
    Je parle d'elle pour complèter!

    Le reste de mon texte est bon?


    De plus, pourriez-vous me dire si je répond bien à mon sujet?

    Merci d'avance
  • Comme mentionné ci-dessus, ton texte au niveau de son contenu, me semble plutôt bon, mais il y a quelques soucis de syntaxes ici et là, des erreurs au niveau de l'expression, du vocabulaire dûs à une traduction du français à l'anglais, c'est pour cela que je l'ai retravaillé dans son ensemble en essayant de garder son sens et son esprit.

    Vu que c'est par rapport à un texte, je l'ai réedité afin de l'ajuster par rapport au contexte en question:
    Seamingly, you can't easily adapt yourself to a new life, especially when it comes to live in a foreign country, even having been quite well prepared previously.

    Because you have to take into consideration several factors:
    First: The fact that you will leave your best friends and family, and certainly the place where you spent your childhood and youthl.

    You have to get prepared to face the homesickness, because not only you would encounter some difficulties to get adapted to a new life, but the language barrier might cause some issues in terms of communication and culture.

    As we could see, Kwan encountred some slight difficulties when she arrived to the USA, since almost everything seemed pretty new for her, she concluded that China was so much different from uncle Sam's land.

    Nevertheless, living in a foreign country is a fantastic experience and an extraordinary adventure because you learn so much, not only culturally but meeting local people who are totally different from what you have been used to see, and establishing new friendships with them might be something quite unique in your life.

    In my judgement, the intention to go and live in a foreign country means an open-mindness and a willingness to discover the world.
    However, some people migrate not to enlarge there horizons but simply because they are political refugees.
    As for me, I want to go and live abroad because I like discovering new horizons; meeting new people and getting to know about different cultures.
    I want in a sense to open my mind to the rest of the world because I have realized that ethnocentrism was a mistake.
    Indeed, no culture is better than another, they are simply different.
    However, I will miss my family, yet, unfortunately, you still need to make sacrifices to move forward.
    That is why I'm so enjoyed to go to the United States, not only to improve my english, but also because this country does everything to be the best and to remain the best.
    The professional opportunities out there are really interesting, especially in terms of acquiring a job of my liking and abilities.
    Heh and who could claim that the "American Dream" disappeared? it has always been my dream, and I'd be so happy to carry it out.

    By the way, like any other country, the US of A has its advantages and disadvantages, such as weapons, which represent a significant desease for such a powerful nation.
    But feel free to do what you feel better for your release, keep your text as it is or get this one, it is completely up to you.
    ;)

    Kind regards
  • Je vous remercie pour TOUTE votre aide.

    Si jamais vous avez besoin de quoique ce soit n'hésitez pas bien que votre anglais est bien meilleur que le mien.

    Cordialement :)
  • No problem, thank you for your offer as well! and G'luck!


    Kind regards
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